I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
