My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
