Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
