i need an iv and a liver transplant
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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