when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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