Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize
