I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize