Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Randomize
