Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
The Olympian is in my bed
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
