hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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