Non-Jews are for practice
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize