its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
