He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
