Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
