He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
