Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
