I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
