More tranny stories later!
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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