can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
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