She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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