I wanna bring you to show and tell
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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