If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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