Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
