Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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