using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Randomize
