why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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