i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
