i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
