I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Randomize
