NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I seem to have left my pride at pride
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize