that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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