Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
