Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
