Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
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