i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
