summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
When are your genitals available?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
