Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
