Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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