He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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