Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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