My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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