i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
