i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
We have started to decorate penises.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
