That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
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