it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
