Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
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