Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
