the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I intend to get homeless drunk
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
