I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
