So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize
