if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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