dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize