Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
