I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
