puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize