At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
