Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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