i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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