That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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