is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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