At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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