Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
