I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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