Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
