Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
