My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
